This morning I made an unexpected discovery.
As I was shaving, I noticed what appeared to be a grey hair. Given my age, this did not instantly seem unusual – there have been a couple in the past, and doubtless will be a few more… It appeared to be in that strange area just above the temple near the top of the ear, where it is not quite side-burn, but also not quite head hair.
What was surprising, however, was that upon closer inspection, it became apparant that it was an extended and protruding Ear Hair. I instantly thought to myself, “Self, this is very odd indeed”, as I proceeded to remove said Old Man Follicular Ear Craziness as fast as I could.
After wiping the small tears from my eyes (you know that pinpoint pain when hairs are yanked out that doesn’t hurt too much, but it does make your eyes water) I had a quick look at the rest of my outer surface.
It would appear that I am slowly becoming a victim of Errant Hair Syndrome.
EHS is when hair is not where it should be, and in places that it shouldn’t.
The hair on my head is beginning to show the genetic effects of my maternal grandfather – think Friar Tuck male pattern baldness creeping in. The plug-hole in the base of the shower seems to have more lost hair than usual.
My eyebrows seem to have a much greater forward reach than I remember as well.
My chest, which was sooth and devoid of all things furry twenty years ago, now is developing a carpet-like appearance. Not quite the Tom Selleck / Sean Connery look as yet, but give it another twenty years and I’ll get back to you…
Freak show !! 
Perhaps a haircut might be in order ?!?!
Matthew – Forty Beers
Tags: On Being 40
